We have a problem in the modern world. There is an epidemic approaching one opinionated or offended response at a time. I think I know why.
I probably watch too much sport, I love playing it too. Whatever sport it is I’ll find something in it that appeals to me. Sport has given me so much. It has shown me so much about myself and, more importantly to leadership, the capacity of every type of human when they are in the right environment.
I’ve recently discussed some of the things I used to help me choose between two very good job options. I realised that conversations and gut-feel were not going to be enough. I needed some evidence to support a decision, so I turned to Excel and geeked up my pros and cons list.
I have a habit, and I’m here to let you know it is a good one. When I cross paths with someone who has a unique or experienced perspective that I really value, I ask them to be part of my Personal Advisory Board. When I was working out what important things I should consider about choosing a new job, I reached out to my Board.
How many times have you been in a meeting and someone pipes up and says, ‘Oh…. No, we can’t do that’? When you hear this, you are dealing with someone in the No Corridor. The most important thing you can learn how to do is fight against the No Corridor. The No Corridor is the killer of enthusiasm, productivity and creative culture. Just putting a name to it is oftentimes enough to defeat it.
In 2015, right around her sixth birthday, she lost a bucket load of weight. Her mother and I were really worried. She had unusually started wetting the bed through the night and was always drinking water. Her lips started to dry out and no amount of moisturiser would bring them to life. One week later we were in the hospital learning about Type 1 Diabetes (T1D). I learnt then that she was now going to be responsible for her health in a way that no six-year-old should ever have to worry about. I learnt that I had to be hard on my daughter. Every day she does some things well, some things poorly and despite all this, I am so proud of her.
I like going for runs, hanging out with friends, playing sport, and having really hot baths while watching Netflix. I like doing this even when I know that I should be spending time with my family. It often makes me feel selfish, but I’ve learned something very valuable, you need to be selfish if you want to be truly selfless
I have learned how to be selfless by being selfish.
Seven years ago, my boss got everyone to complete a DiSC profile. The whole organisation completed the questionnaire and then sat through a facilitated workshop. It was the most important thing I have done on my leadership journey. Just last week, I completed my second DiSC profile assessment, and when I got my results back, I felt like a failure.
Later in life you start to become more comfortable shedding your social programming, you can begin to own your identity. This is the version of you that you prefer. Not the one that matches other people’s expectations of you.
I have learned that with the right person, love does feel easy. There will be periods when it gets harder. The crush of stuff is difficult to navigate. But if you feel like you are drifting, realize that you now have some tools to take control of your journey and set it up for success. I have learned that because of this purposefulness, loving is made easy.