If you are afraid of feedback, you are stifling your potential.
Photo by Dmitry Ratushny on Unsplash
Excellence Is Not Perfection — Forget Perfect
If you are afraid of feedback, you are stifling your potential.
I have spoken to a few high achievers recently, those that most would say continue to do really well in whatever job or with whatever tasks they are given. They know that their work is valued, and they work hard to ensure that no-one can find any issue with their output. Some of these high-achievers know that if you are diligent, and have a clear strategy and engage your network, you can get it done to the level it needs to be. They aim for excellence through seeking feedback but know when to settle for getting it to ‘good enough’. The other type of high-achievers I’ve spoken to, aim for their work to be perfect. They are meticulous and even fanatical about ensuring that everything is done perfectly. They create the perfect output, and everyone recognises that they really are good at their job. They strive for perfection.
This is a trap. There is no such thing as perfection. The pursuit of perfection is like the pursuit of happiness – if you chase it, you will never find it. This is because perfection is defined by those around you, by the standard you perceive they require of you. It is extrinsic. The perfectionist believes that if you do it perfectly, you can avoid all criticism and nobody can diminish your value. But , if someone does provide some feedback, if it requires some re-work, they realise that their efforts are inadequate. The perfectionist believes they will have to be more perfect next time , to double down on perfect. Even though I wasn’t good enough this time, I will be perfect next time. This approach often leads to a high level of self-induced stress and pressure.
The pressure of being able to juggle all areas of our lives has become greater over time. It has become common for the expectation on all of us to be able to balance work, life, exercise, healthy eating, friendships, loving relationships, caring for family, finances, education, and career, and all without breaking a sweat. Social media has only made it worse as you end up comparing someone else’s highlight reel with your every day life. It becomes easy to believe that your best isn’t good enough.
This can happen at work, every day, in the smallest moments. We see someone effortlessly completing that task. Or presenting with such poise and clarity. We automatically focus on all the things we couldn’t do, all the things we don’t want others to know we can’t do. At least not like them. However, I know I can do this one thing really well, so I’m going to do it perfect and everyone will see how much value I bring. We compare the highlights of everyone else, without understanding how much insecurity they also have about what they have just done.
Perfectionism is an anchor; it limits our ability to truly get better. If you can’t do it perfectly, don’t do it, because people will realise you don’t know how. Instead of perfect, you can aim for excellence. Because, perfection shuns feedback, but excellence seeks it out. To ensure that you always get better, you need feedback. Excellence is focused on internal personal development. Start at good enough, and if you are diligent and have a strategy, you can strive to continuously get better, and occasionally achieve something excellent.
There is an interesting video from a reformed perfectionist below.
Stay safe and keep smiling,
Leon
[high fives]
Exported from Medium on December 22, 2023.
